Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Why am I not getting enough "LIKES"?
Whenever we open up our Instagram, Facebook or even LinkedIn, we see others leading such an exciting and fulfilling life in comparison to us. Do you watch and envy people around you who are seemingly getting the jobs, house, relationship and life that you want to have too?
Obviously, people only post positive aspects of their lives and not necessarily sharing the recent break-up with their partner, an argument with their parents, or any other devastating failures and challenges they encounter. With social media dictating whether our lives are “like”-able, we are constantly requiring external validation whether we are awesome or not.
Green doesn’t suit you
“Don’t compare your beginnings with someone else’s middle.” Jon Acuff
What we see on social media including LinkedIn might give us a false illusion that we are the only one experiencing failure or challenges.
As an entrepreneur who has just launched her new business, I have to remind myself that other people's success doesn't mean my failure. It’s easy to fall into the trap to compare myself to others in my field, but I try to overcome envy by assessing how I can learn from their success. Most importantly, I also understand that everyone has a different path and I need to walk mine.
Careers and life in general are extremely competitive in this digital age. Not only do we see how people in our immediate circle are seemingly thriving, we are now bombarded with messages and photos from people from all around the world. As a result, feeling enthusiastic when someone else reaches a big accomplishment isn’t exactly what would come naturally.
You are enough
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Iyanla Vanzant
It’s understandable that envy is normal when we are constantly seeing social media posts where people lead a #blessed and #awesome life. But envy is not productive.
Here are 5 ways to how to get over your feelings of inadequacy, so that you can be genuinely happy for those around you who are more successful or have all the things that we also want in our lives.
1. Be You-nique: Just because someone else is doing something similar, you are still unique and no one else can do the same thing as you - so go for it!
2. Be the Best you Can Be: Being able to look at your own strengths and see your true value is a key enabler to success. There are always people who are more talented, richer, prettier, intelligent etc. than you. But no one is perfect. If you focus on how you can become a better version of yourself, that’s a great step towards greatness – Your unique Greatness!
3. Be a Student of Life: Everyone starts somewhere and we need to acknowledge that we have to go through a natural learning curve. Being inspired by others who are successful can help us to become more focused on what our goals and vision of our ideal lives can look like and push ourselves to the next level. Instead of envying others for their success, why not invite them for a chat and learn from them.
4. Be grateful: Practicing gratitude and helping others who are in need, will provide you with a different perspective. Being grateful for what we have will help us recognize all the good things that we already have.
5. Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda: Instead of saying things such as, “I should have this by now” or “I could have come further”, use “want” statements and notice how your inner dialogue changes. You can gain momentum from this and start creating a goal and an action plan to get things done and to progress towards a life you desire.
Apparently, you can also do a social media detox but I believe these tips will help you break free from the destructive habit of comparison in a sustainable way. Focus your attention on what really matters: Yourself and how to get you from where you are to making your dreams a reality.